he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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