OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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