if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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