He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
