what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
we made out on top of his cat.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
