i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize