My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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