"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
it's like iHOP with fire
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
