True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
