well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
