You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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