everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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