i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Randomize