You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
do herpes really smell.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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