I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize