i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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