I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize