I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
