im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
