Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
handjob tips. give me some.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
