Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
