I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize