I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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