Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
