You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
