R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize