Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
