I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
