whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize