id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
