Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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