matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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