my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
