You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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