DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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