Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
