i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
