I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
