I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
