you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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