Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
