i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
