Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize