yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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