Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
