does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
