The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Someone shattered a urinal.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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