dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
