Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize