Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize