if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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