i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
