I just cut my nipple shaving
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
