i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize