plz talk dirty to me
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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