Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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