Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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