So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
