I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Randomize
