This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I think my fart just growled at me.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
