its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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