There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
