Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
