dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I smell stomach acid.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
