About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
