just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
