Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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