Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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