you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
